Before you watch any more episodes of Game of Thrones for the rest of your life, make sure you read this first. No spoilers, I promise. You ready?
Okay, here it goes…
There’s been a lot of rumors floating around about Jon Snow’s “real name”, which imply that Rhaegar Targeryen and Lyanna Stark originally named him something other than “Jon”, and that his current moniker was crafted by Ned Stark to hide his true identity. However, unbeknownst to what seems like every late night host, amateur blogger, radio personality, and every other mainstream media outlet that mentions Game of Thrones, there’s another character whose true identity is known by a few fans who’ve chosen to pay attention to very important details and piece together the right information. That’s right, folks, it’s your beloved Khaleesi.
That isn’t her fucking name. Please stop referring to Daenerys as “Khaleesi”.
Daenerys’ real name is Daenerys. Not Khaleesi, it’s Daenerys. Please stop referring to her as though her first name is Khaleesi, because it’s not Khaleesi, it’s Daenerys. Khaleesi is one of Daenerys’ titles, not her first name. Because her first name, as previously stated, is Daenerys. Daenerys is a made-up word that is equal in syllables and no more difficult to pronounce or spell than Khaleesi. So just call her Daenerys for Christ’s sake. “Dany” will do if you can’t handle that. Are we clear on this? Okay. Okay.
*Pushes up glasses, deeply hits inhaler*
Okay. I’m alright. I’m okay. I promise.
In the episode “The Queen’s Justice”, last week’s episode of Thrones, Daenerys is introduced in-full as Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons. Dany works, too. Referring to her as “Khaleesi” like it’s her name would be like referring to your manager, Mike, at work and saying, “Hey, did you hear what Manager did last week? I think it’s pretty great.” Just call him Mike, we’ll know who you’re talking about. We promise.
Before anybody asks, yes I’m mad. And who could blame me? When Thrones really started to reach it’s peak of popularity, one of the most popular new baby names for girls in the US was “Khaleesi”. And that’s all well and good, there are certainly worse names for your kids, but hooooooooooleeeeeeeeeee shit please just refer to the woman in the above photo by her actual first name, which, one last time as a refresher, is Daenerys.