Let’s talk about this absolute maniac Darren Bland for a second. 150 years clocked in on Football Manager 2010. 150 years! Bland (love the last name pal) went on to say that his record-holding campaign set him back nearly two years of real-life time, but man… A plaque’s a plaque. Am I a Guinness World Record holder? Nope. Is he? Yep. I can’t even stomach the sight of my own college degree that’s hanging on my wall, so it looks like Mr. Bland is the winner today.
Bland also had an in-game stadium named after him and his 190-year old manager in the game (Football Manager doesn’t let your age pass 100, because who the fuck else has that kind of time), and he even managed through the fictional 2034 World Cup, in which – he says – Algeria took home the prize. A bleak future indeed.
The most exciting thing about this story for me is that Mr. Bland is a Liverpool supporter, much like myself. According to Eurogamer, he even applied for the position of manager to the real-life Liverpool FC, citing his outrageous Football Manager resume as qualifications for the job.
And to be fucking honest, I wish they had given him the job. Why? Because Bland managed the Fiorentina side to 151 Serie A titles in just 154 seasons. Is 98% good? Did he break it? Not for nothing but this kid needs to be teaching a class on business management and economics.
Have yourself a day, Mr. Bland. YNWA.
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