What goes better than a long night of gaming and a good 6 pack? A long night of gaming and a 12 pack or maybe an entire bottle of vodka. I swear I have some control over my life. The boys at Wicked Good Gaming had a pretty solid showing this weekend at Pax East 2017, not only on the show floor but also in the bar, shoutout to Laugh Boston for the after parties. So here is my list of gaming characters who could probably…ok maybe go drink for drink with us degenerate at the bar.
Mikau: Legend of Zelda Majora’s Mask
Probably my favorite game of all time, Majora’s Mask mixed the gameplay of Ocarina of Time into a morose, dark, sad, and beautiful world of Termina. Mikau is the guitarist of the Indie-Go’s who is mortally wounded in attempts to rescue the eggs of his band mates. The guy oozes emo, and everyone knows I along with my favorite emo bands love to drink. Being a front man for a band calls for boozing, and after giving himself to Link in the form of the Zora mask the guys legacy should live on and be remembered for what I loved him for. His rocker ethics and his probable alcohol problem. We just relate ya know.
Duke Nukem: Duke Nukem Franchise
Maybe he wasn’t a rockstar, but he certainly lived and drank like one. The iconic and missed Duke Nukem loves his guns, loves himself, loves killing shit, loves bubblegum, and loves his booze. I would kill for a chance to go beer for beer with this jacked up sociopath and maybe throw in an arm wrestling contest or two for show.
Conker: Conker’s Bad Fur Day
I can’t think of a more On-Brand videogame character. This foul mouthed boozebag lives and dies by the bottle. He wakes up in a constant daze of confusion from the night before and just gets right back to the grind, and when I say grind I of course mean fighting giant shit monsters and getting paid. If you are ever in need of a job Conker, please feel free to apply at any time.
Max Payne: Specifically Max Payne 3
Fucking hell man, if you ever think you have a drinking problem take the 8-10 hours to play through Max Payne 3 and feel 10X better about yourself. Max has lost everything and works as personal security to anyone who can pay in cash and booze. In his constant state of anger, rage, and inebriation, he leaves endless paths of bodies, and I can say that I am right there with ya pal… I like to think things get better sometimes…or they don’t have a shot.
Gragas: League of Legends
The fatman himself had to grace this list. Graggy’s entire kit revolves around drinking and he is just one of those guys I want to case race with, or against. Gragas used to be a mainstay in League competitive play, but after plenty of nerfs he has taken the backseat to other more powerful champions. He’s got plenty of time on his hands which I can only assume is spent drinking endless amounts of grog. Give me a call this weekend pal, I know you won’t be playing in any LCS games, we can go grab a beer or 12.
There it is folks, my Top 5 gaming drunks who can maybe hang with us at the bar. I apologize if this got way too real way too fast, but we are who we are and I honestly just don’t care. Excuse me while I head to the bar for happy hour, 2$ miller lites on draft.