Mario Kart Ripoff… But it’s Nickelodeon Characters, So it’s Ok – Nickelodeon Kart

You read that right… Not the title, but that it was posted by Chris P. I’m alive – and I feel like I’ve said that a million times. But hello (Adele Voice)

So, Nickelodeon and GameMill Entertainment are teaming up for Nickolodeon Kart, coming out on October 23, for $39.99. Mario Kart played a huge role in my short-lived, college career. Let me explain. We used to play “drunk driving”, WHICH IS IN VIDEO GAME FORM, NOT REAL LIFE. So we would load a team of four, and all crack fresh brewskis. The objective of the game was finish in first place, and to finish your beer before you finish the race. You couldn’t pass the finish line until the beer was gone. But there was a catch, you couldn’t drink while the car was moving and if you got hit by anything you would have to drink. So Waluigi would have to pull his fat ass over, so the fat ass behind the controller could chug his/her/2018’s beer. Once the beer was gone, you could finish the race. And this was a way to fly through cold ones. 17 year old me loved this game.

So back to Nickelodeon Kart. You’re trying to tell me, as a 24 year old wash up I’ll be coming out of retirement to play some Nickeloden Kart Drunk Driving.. You bet your ass. I’ll be slamming Bud Lights as I’m Tokyo Drifting with Helga Pataki. Flipping off Gerald out of the passenger window, and telling Tommy Pickles he’s a little bitch. Myself, and a bunch of millennial are gonna be jazzed to hear that our child hood is now being made into a Go-Kart. Nostalgia city.

Can’t wait until fucking Angry Birds comes out with a Go-Kart game. Shit bags