Where Are They Now? – Youngster Joey

I have recently beaten Pokemon X and just took up Pokemon Sun this past week, and beyond the typical tropes of that each game rehashes, there is always one that gets overlooked.  What ever happened to Youngster Joey?  He is one of the first trainers you meet in every game.  You get your brand new started and he challenged you to a test of Trainer strengths.  10/10 times you mop the floor with the poor kid.  Oh my Charmander just singed your Rattata to a crispy smoldering pile of ash?  AND you want my phone number so you can call me every 2 hours throughout my life defining quest to become a Pokemon Master to catch up, maybe have another battle?  Yeah no thanks Joey, I’ll see you in Alola where you still can’t get past Route 1.  Here we take a look at some of the things that Joey may have done after you 2 shotted his Rattata 15 minutes into whatever Pokemon game you have just started.

My first guess is he just gave up.  You ignored his calls for the rest of the game, he knew he could never match your skills and honestly probly couldn’t even compete with the early trainers.  He has no shot of beating even the first gym leader.  I picture this lil guy just setting his Rattata free and taking up embroidery, maybe he got into some manufacturing industry, he couldn’t become a trainer but he can water down some potions to get back at you for throttling him so many years ago.  Maybe Joey still lives in his mom’s basement at the age of 45 and he never met the love of his life.  Maybe he got a gym membership, turned into a beefcake and married the love of his life when he hit his prime.  Who knows maybe, Joey got a degree and contributed more to society than your punk ass.

I think Joey, filled with anger, rage, and embarrassment made it his life goal to get back at you.  He told his middle school girlfriend Janine he didn’t like her bow anymore and he had a job to do.  Broke up with his girl, told his mom not to call, severed all ties with his past, took his Rattata and started his mission of revenge.  Remember how long it took you to finally find a Dratini to catch and eventually evolve into a Dragonite?  Yeah Joey caught one his first try, had a Dragonite at age 9.  You think a Red Gyarados is rare?  Joey had a Neon Yellow one.  Joey was the first person to ever find Missing No.  Mewtwo changed his entire outlook on humanity after having a beer with Joey.  Gym leaders just handed him their badges and retired whenever he showed up to challenge them.  I am just waiting for the Pokemon game where Youngster Joey comes back with a fucking vengeance later on in the game, a dozen hours after you stomped his ass into the ground to smoke our team of Pokemon.  Listen up Nintendo, Pokemon Company, Game Freak, make Youngster Joey the next Pokemon Champion in your next game, or make him show up somehow in Pokemon Go.  I think he’s earned it.