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Smithsonian Is Hiring A “Beer Historian” For $65K/Year? SEE YA!

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“The hoppy gig, which will pay $64,650 a year and includes benefits, is a new role for the Museum of American History, the Washington City Paper reported. Funded by the Brewers Association, the position lasts for three years and seeks someone who’s interested in “research, documentation and collecting American brewing history.” -Time Money

Mother of GOD. Is it possible to be too overqualified for a job? I mean, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life right? My dad told me when I was a kid – “Dom… Get a fucking job.” and I think I’ve finally found it. Crush brews, talk to people about why beer is good, and bone up on my history a little bit? Sold. You’ve got your man, Smithsonian. I can’t think of a better person they could possibly hire than me, except for Stone Cold Steve Austin – but I really wanna see him go back to wrestling again so he should probably just focus on that and let me be great.

So there you have it. I’m applying, moving in to the Beer History exhibit at the Smithsonian, and spending the next three years as the happiest man alive. And to everyone else in my life, I only got two words for ya – SEE YA!

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