Why a Gamer Dating App Needs to Be A Thing

Let me set the stage.

You’re on the dating site of your choice, and you come across a beautiful person. Wow, they’re incredible. No way they swipe right on us too. And then you hear the chime. They swiped right, and messaged us first. Holy shit time to dig deep and act like the coolest version of ourselves. We talk about our day, our job, lie and say we travel monthly knowing damn well we never leave our hometown.

And then things get real when they ask “so what do you do for fun”. We don’t do anything besides work, eat, and play video games. Enter the lies again. “I like going to the gym, going hiking, long walks on the beach, I’m just overall so outdoorsy..” Lying through our fucking teeth when all we want to say is “I play video games for 10 hours a day and occasionally look out the window to get a splash of vitamin D.” We know we are destined for this relationship to crash and burn if it ever gets off the ground and they find out we’re a hermit.

There are dating sites for people with mullets, people who golf, people who farm, and everything else you could possibly think of. Why can’t the nerds get a little love one time? I’d love to meet a chick and the first question she asks is what are you playing? My god I’d blow a fat one in my pants on the spot. I go on to tell her I run a video game blog and podcast, no chuckles. She says wow that’s awesome, I’ll give them a look. Thanks for the page views and downloads babe, I love you so much. My cinnamon apple.

She comes over, my room is a rave, and it’s ok. Asks what graphics card I’m running, and is curious if we want to queue up later. Of course I do baby, you’re my wife.