I used to love Assassin’s Creed. A good friend of mine recommended the series, and I plowed through the first four titles just so I could play Assassin’s Creed 3, which was based in Boston. To be completely honest though, AC3 was the beginning of the end of my love for this series – as I figured that my affinity for Ezio Auditore and Desmond Miles didn’t have the slightest chance of being eclipsed by any other new protagonists that Ubisoft could throw at me… And I was right. I liked the Kenways, but didn’t love them. I didn’t care about their past or their bloodline like I did about Ezio’s. However, here we have the new Assassin’s Creed movie, which looks overwhelmingly badass, and the following trailer is just enough to get my hidden blade trigger finger itching again, check it out:
Jesus Christ, hidden blades, peas and rice. It seems like Ubisoft is pulling out all the stops here, and I’ll be damned if Michael Fassbender doesn’t look fucking phenomenal in this flick. The first few set photos of Fassbender in his Assassin costume were underwhelming, but seeing him take down 4-5 soldiers at once and dive from the top of a huge tower in Spain brought it all together for me. Here are some screens that pretty have sold me on the movie.
FREERUNNING ON MOTHERFUCKING CLOTH BANNERS! To be honest, this might’ve been my favorite part of the trailer. Watching Fassbender and his Assassin bros scaling buildings with ease and sprinting across CLEARLY impossible obstacles is really at the heart of what made the Assassin’s Creed series so fun in the first place. Knowing that a group of soldiers couldn’t hope to keep up with you because you’re scaling buildings in a matter of seconds was the ultimate badass maneuver, and it partially makes me wish I was a little more in shape so that I could do the same thing. But that’s never happening and I’ve made peace with that.
Mother of god Michael Fassbender is channeling his inner Shane McMahon and diving from an impossibly tall height with probably absolutely zero regard for human life. This is what the fuck I’m talking about. I love that Ubisoft is not pulling any punches here and including ridiculous stunts like this that make the game what it is. The one thing I’m scared of, though, is that this dive takes place at the very end of the movie and its the only time we see something like this happen. But I’m sure that’s not the case… Right? …Right?
And then there was this… The one component of the trailer that had me scratching my head and hoping to god it wasn’t what I thought it was. If you’re a fan of the games, go ahead and tell me that what is. What is that? What in the hell is that?! Go ahead. I’ll wait.
That, apparently, is the Animus. For those of you that don’t know what the Animus is in the Assassin’s Creed games, it’s a bed. That’s literally it. How do you fuck this up? How do you fuck up a bed? This is my only gripe with the trailer, but its a big one – since, y’know, the Animus is literally the object that makes this plot possible. But instead of a bed, one of the geniuses at the film companies decided that they should turn Michael Fassbender into a fucking stuffed animal and the Animus into a crane game.
So there you have it. A couple of hot takes on the Assassin’s Creed movie. What do you think of the trailer? Love it? Hate It? Scream at us on Twitter at @WickedGoodGames and let us know what you think.