My Breakup Letter to League of Legends

Dear League,

I am writing to you one last time to say thank you.  Thank you for keeping me company for damn near 3 years of my life.  Thank you for being there for me when I had nothing to do on the weekends, or when noone was around to hang out.  It was a shame I had to leave Call of Duty for you, because I spent so much of my youth with COD, but as I grew up I needed something more solid.  Something that wouldn’t make me want to break a controller or curse at teenagers over my mic.  So I found solace in you…that is until you made me want to fucking throw myself out a window in hopes of an 18 wheeler coming by right at that very moment.  Every game before you, Runescape, Guild Wars, and especially my dearest Call of Duty just couldn’t compete, but this is most likely due to the toxic nature of our relationship.

You were like a drug in an abusive relationship, and no matter how many times you destroyed me from the inside out, I always came back.  I held out hope that every time I came back, and how hard I fought to stick with you, was due in part to you being able to change.  Change for the better ya know.  The first few weeks, matches, and late nights were always great. It felt like things were really different, but after a month or two it always boiled down to the same old bullshit.  You would place me with teammates playing with their feet, autolocking feeders, inting dickless prepubescents, and all the rest of the most toxic community in gaming.  The League of Legends community is the saltiest, most toxic video game community I have ever been a part of, and I have been gaming for over 20 years now.  You seem to put so much more emphasis on your pro and challenger teams you leave the other 95% of gamers in the backseat, strapped to a carseat with the child locks on and you dangle hope of escaping elo hell in the form of candy in front of our eyes.

So farewell for now League of Legends.  Maybe someday in the future when you mature a little more we can get back together.  We both know how crazy and wild some of the nights were we spent together, but fortunately for me I have found another.  OverWatch was there for me when you wanted to run off with your pros and accommodate them.  Every match that made me game rage has really forced me to grow as a gamer in general so I once again thank you League of Legends, because without you, I wouldn’t have found OverWatch.  No but seriously League, Fuck you.  I wasted almost 3 years of my life on you and you did nothing but make me feel like shit.  I wish nothing but the worst for you, so fuck a goat, case closed.

Dr. Bob

Friendly Neighborhood physicist who just so happens to enjoy drinking 12 beers and playing videogames all night. Always streaming at

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