It Is My Duty As A Video Game Journalist To Post About The DewGarita

You guys can’t just leave me alone on the internet for like a week, can you?

I’m trying my best over here. Trying my damnedest to play video games, balance work and my personal life, and keep up with the number one gaming podcast on earth. It’s a tough job, but it’s gotta get done. So imagine my surprise, panic, and utter horror when I saw this float down my TL this week.

First of all, I can’t rightfully say “I don’t know what we did to deserve this”, because I absolutely do. A cruel, yet just deity has been watching us, and this is what we get. A Mountain Dew flavored (infused?) margarita.

This beverage looks borderline radioactive, and doubtlessly unhealthy, but I can’t help but need to know more about it. The rim seems to be seasoned with an Old Bay-esque mixture of spices and salts (I’ve had a few Old Bay rims on Bloody Marys in my day – and they are amazing), and I am just in shock that somehow we didn’t take this a step further to put crushed up Doritos on the rim instead.

The officials at Red Lobster say their “take on a margarita” includes Mountain Dew, tequila and a “few other special ingredients,”. Judging by the neon color, I can only daydream about the mystical healing properties this unholy elixir will provide us.

Red Lobster also says that this is just the beginning, and that the DewGarita is just “the first delicious taste of the types of inspired menu items to come,”. Lord help us all.