PETA Made a Guide on How Stay Vegan While Playing Animal Crossing and Are Defending Tom Nook and I Won’t Stand For it

I woke up from a deep sleep last night, and did what any other person addicted to social media would do. Reached right for my phone and dialed up Twitter. This media shit don’t sleep. And what I saw next made chilled me to the bone, and made it very difficult to fall back asleep. It was PETA. Tweeting out how to stay vegan while playing Animal Crossing New Horizons while also defending Tom Nook. I tossed and turned angrily in my bed for hours. Maybe I just needed to chill out.. So I slept on it. And here I am bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning to let you know I’m still fucking pissed.

A few screenshots of PETA’s article

Give me a break. This game, is the most feel good game you will ever get your hands on. You can play it if you’re 100, you can play it if your 6. It’s a universal game about living in harmony on an island. Ohhh no! You can virtually fish and catch bugs? Go to bed. How else am I going to pay off this crippling debt this fucking racoon you defend puts me in? I gotta cash in these Red Snappers baby. I have to defend myself from rabid Tarantula’s. It’s a damn viiiideeeooooo gaaaaaaame. I know we’re in a slow time for media since the corona is eating up the airwaves, but find something better to do besides coming after Animal Crossing. One of the games single handily getting people through lock-downs. I’m sure there’s other shit that you can get involved in.

And if this wasn’t enough, they defend Tom Nook for being a sleazeball.

I will not cut him any slack thank you, PETA. He is a con artist, and con artists don’t reserve any slack.

Chris P.

Drinker of booze, writer of blogs, tweeter of tweets, puncher of desks.

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