The year is 2022, and there have never been more incredible, immersive, groundbreaking games on the market – nor the insane breadth of options for how to experience them – at once.
As a kid, I wouldn’t have ever been able to fathom being able to play console-caliber Nintendo titles on a plane. I would’ve cried and puked and screamed for days on end in a padded room if you told me I could download an app on my phone, connect a bluetooth Xbox or PlayStation controller to it, and fire up a game like Horizon: Forbidden West or Forza Horizon 5. Fuck, 10-year old Dom would’ve probably passed out on the spot if you told him, while innocently flipping through a GamePro in the magazine aisle of the supermarket, that one day you’d be able to basically just think of a game and be able to download it from anywhere at any time.
But, dear reader – lo and behold – we also live in the bitchiest, whiniest, most entitled period in the history of digital entertainment. And y’know what? It’s time to stop.
I’ve got a solution. This might be a wild take – so please, by all means have a seat and take a deep breath before this next sentence if you need. I’m even going to give this next part a big line break and make the text nice and bold so this message hits just as hard as it needs to. Ready? Hands and feet inside the ride? Alrighty, here we go:
If you don’t like a certain video game, you don’t have to fucking play it. You can just play something else. It’s okay.
Are you still with me? Do you need some smelling salts? A miniature fan that can also spritz you with some water, perhaps? Take a minute. Catch your breath. Come back. Alright. There there. No more tears, only dreams. Woo-sah.
That was it – that was the point of the blog, honestly.
For real though. If you don’t like the state of Halo Infinite, Call of Duty: Vanguard / Warzone, Apex Legends, Fortnite, PUBG, World of Warcraft, Hearthstone, or anything else that’s out there… You are allowed to play something else! I am actually giving you permission right now. If nobody’s told you yet, you are perfectly free to play whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. Unless you’re in Russia right now of course, but that’s another blog entirely.
Everybody else? Go play something new! I miss the MMO loot grind from World of Warcraft, but I hate the state the game is in right now. So what did I do? I re-downloaded Star Wars: The Old Republic to get my MMO fix. It was delightful, but the loot grind wasn’t there. Then I re-downloaded Destiny 2: The Witch Queen, and boy oh boy did that ever scratch the itch in just the right spot. I’m like a fucking dog shaking his back leg at 90MPH when he’s scratched behind the ears with how good that’s hitting the spot right now.
So, my friends, I encourage you all to find that game for yourselves. Ask a friend. Ask the internet. We’ve all got only so much precious time on this earth, stop wasting your energy pissing and moaning on Twitter about how much of a disappointment [Insert AAA Title Here] is and find something else to play. It doesn’t even have to be the same genre, I promise! Nobody wants to hear you bitch on Twitter. It’s just white noise at this point, and it’s not going to change anything! Just play something else. I guarantee you’ll feel better almost instantly. Nobody is forcing you to play Halo or Call of Duty. Unless they are – and if that’s the case, blink three times if you’re being held against your will and we’ll send in a rescue team.
So please, enjoy your weekend, ladies and gentlemen. Go play something that makes you happy, you deserve it. Smooches.
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