XBOX DOES IT AGAIN! WE GET TO PAY $360 PER YEAR FOR GAMEPASS ULTIMATE NOW!! EPIC WIN!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, from the folks that were innovative enough to deliver a handheld gaming console for $1000, the same people who were generous enough to only increase the price of a five year old game console to $650 in spite of the economic state of the world (they could’ve charged more!), and the same company who’s had four separate rounds of layoffs in the last two years impacting thousands of lives and careers – we’ve got some huge gaming news for you!
Buckle up and get ready to say WHOAAAAAAA cause here it comes!
XBOX GAME PASS ULTIMATE IS NOW ONLY JUST $360 PER YEAR!!!
You gotta be smiling you gotta be dancing you gotta be firing off those console war tweets!!!!!!! Loyal, unwavering, seemingly infinitely pocketed Xbox gamers everywhere are dancing, kissing, rejoicing in the streets. Nine months from now economists will mark the “Xbox Game Pass Ultimate Doubled In Price In Just Over One Year Since It’s Last Price Hike” Baby Boom as one of the greatest recoveries in the history of the American birthrate. And hey, I mean, what’s not to be jazzed about? Just look at all the additional perks you’re paying more for even though you don’t need them getting!!!
Fortnite Crew ($12/month), Ubisoft+ ($17.99/month), and NOW you get the even BETTER cloud gaming and all the releases you were already paying $14 a month for, all for $16 more dollars per month!!! If males could ovulate, I’d be doing that right now!!
And as for you PLEBIANS who will be downgrading your subscriptions, enjoy your move from “all first-party Xbox titles on day one” guarantee to the delightfully ambiguous “you’ll just get them whenever the fuck we feel like it sometime within a year”! TAKE THAT SONY!
And to all the HATERS out there, I got one thing to say:
(lmao fuck all this shit so hard)
