E3 2019: Ubisoft E3 Breakdown & Report Card

Sup DAWGS, it’s me the Big Lex ready to break down and grade Ubisoft’s E3 performance. Ubisoft teased some cool shit, and some shit I could honestly care less about. Go read what I have to say about it or I’ll slash your tires.

High-Tier (very excite) 

  • Ubisoft announced plans to release Rainbow Six: Quarantine, which looks like a spooky tactical Tom Clancy shooter. How fucking bad ass does that sound?! I never got into Siege, and despite trying I just was too far removed from the strategy and metas in the game, so I’m super stoked to play Quarantine and try to keep up with it.
  • Ubisoft premiered a new adventure genre game titled Gods & Monsters, in which you go on a quest that pits you against mythological and Greek monsters. The main story sets the main character out to rescue the Greek mythological Gods. I love games like this, and is sort of reminiscent of a cross breed of God of War and Legend of Zelda.
  • Watch Dogs Legion was announced, and from the trailer previewed today at E3, all I can say is I am all aboard the hype train for the next installment of Watch Dogs. I loved everything about the initial Watch Dogs, and though I never ended up beating WD2, I’m excited to be thrown into another ultra high tech world where I can be a mischievous little hacker fuck. But in London, mate.
  • That Ghost Recon: Breakpoint dog did a good job being a good boy. Shout out to that dog. I want to pet him. 10/10.

Mid-Tier (kinda excite)

  • The Division 2 FTP weekend is cool, and I’m excited to sink my teeth into this game. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Division 1, but I’ve heard nothing but good thangs about D2!
  • Rainbow Six Mobile game seems like such a half ass cash grab but I applaud Ubisoft for going a little untraditional and announcing this game. Could be shit, could be pretty addicting depending on the level of strategy/ actual shit to do in game.
  • Roller Champions is pretty meh for me; looks like it could be fun to kill time and play, and I’m sure there’s a targeted market for the game (Rocket League players// other games of that nature). I’ll probably never play it, but looks kinda cool.

Shit-Tier (no excite >:c )

  • For Honor LTM is the equivalent of beating a dead dog with a new fancy stick once every couple of months. Honestly, who the fuck is still playing For Honor? I was interested in the game for maybe all of two hours until I realized the game was rinse and repeat combat, with little promise of progression unless you drop the big bucks. Why are they still putting money into this game?
  • Just Dance 2020 got me as excited as walking into work at 7:45 AM on a rainy Monday. #FuckMyJob
  • UPlay + was announced which is basically Ubisoft’s version of Playstation Now. Sure, cool idea for Ubisoft to scrape some extra money, but I’m not necessarily impressed at this cash grab ass idea.

SO, I’m honestly really stoked for that new Tom Clancy joint, as well as the new Watch Dogs and Gods and Monsters. I think Ubisoft had a really strong presence this year, and I’m really excited to follow those three games through their development life cycle. Though there were features and games that were not my cup of tea teased today I still think Ubisoft made some big dawg moves, and really pulled through this year at E3. Plus they brought a really cute dog on stage, and that alone bumps their final grade up a little bit.

Final Grade: B+


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