PETA Demands That Fictional Legion of Space Vikings Wear Something Other Than Fur

January 30, 2017 Papa Dom

Nothing on the bloody battlefields of Warhammer’s conflict-ravaged universe could match the terrible reality that foxes, minks, rabbits, and other living beings experience at the hands of the fur trade. –PETA UK. Yes, seriously.

So, today, the ever realistic and reasonable PETA UK has asked that Games Workshop stop their fictional legions of Space Vikings from wearing decorative furs on their armor.

Yep. That’s a real thing I just wrote.

Hilariously enough, Games Workshop doesn’t even manufacture anything out of fur. The closest their get to “harming” fictional animals is by depicting their fictional pelts on the toy models of fictional characters which are made from real-life plastic, resin, and metal. The Space Wolves, a fictional (but very badass) Viking-inspired group of fictional Space Marines, wear trademark fur pelts on top of their armor, not dissimilar to the fictional Armor of Brutus from Assassin’s Creed, which is like… My favorite alternate costume in any video game ever.

PETA says that their Space Wolves’ pelts send a message that “wearing fur is acceptable—when, in fact, it has no more place in 2017 than it would in the year 40,000.”. Alright PETA, let’s back up the crazy cart on the coo-coo caboose real quick.

This is like going to a restaurant, ordering something vegan, but going over to someone else’s table to slapping their bacon and eggs off their plate. No. Not even that. This is like seeing a picture of bacon and eggs on the internet, and submitting a complaint to Google to remove it from their image search engine. That’s how crazy this is. This is, as a co-worker said yesterday, a few peas short of a pot pie.

What’s next, is PETA gonna hit up Chris Perkins and tell him to change all the guardian spirits of the Barbarian in Dungeons and Dragons to real living animals because the concept of animal death is that hard to grasp? Gimme a break.

So everybody, what’s the most wacko news story you’ve read today? Follow us on Twitter, subscribe to the podcast, and let us know.