3 days ago we got ranked in Valorant, and let me tell you.. I was pumped out of my tits. It’s the competitive game I’ve been looking for since I stopped playing CS:GO. I was so ready to climb the ranks and become Valorant. Well let me tell you, that is no looking like the case at the moment.
With a ranked mode, comes the sweats. I know this, and I was very aware of it before jumping in. I thought I was ready. I considered myself good. It was time for me to start my placement matches. Solo queued I might add. After my five placements, I ranked as a fucking bronze 2. Whatever, I’ll get through this and rank up.
So I jumped into a few more, solo queued again. And I played with people who looked like they were playing with their kneecaps. These might have been the worst players I’ve ever seen. But that’s alright, as long as they communicate. But, to my surprise.. no mics. Which results in me getting shot in the back and or baited. And this is even the case when you play with just one or two other friends. You need all five. Neeeeed it.
Before you know it I’m flirting with Iron. Can’t even play with my friends at this point because I’m so low of a rank. How did I get here? It’s easy for me to blame my teammates for the loss. But please believe me when I say it WAS them, it was. They’ve stunk out loud.
In conclusion. When I win a game and go 30 and 6, the game gives me a pat on the back. But when I lose the game and go 20-10, I get deranked 15 times and my computer hacked. I will not be playing this game unless I have a full squad. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
- Apparently You Can’t Shave Your Pubes on Twitch - January 27, 2022
- Apex Legends Players Won’t Stop Teabagging Post Malone - January 26, 2022
- I Can’t Tell If I Love or Hate The Minecraft x PUMA Collab - January 26, 2022