Welcome to yet another rendition of “I’m not interested in any gaming news out there today, so I’m gonna write a non-gaming blog”.
Do I care about the latest streamer drama and gossip? Absolutely the fuck not. So here’s a blog about the sauce. As you know, the brains behind this website are big booze guys. We’ve been around the block (and around the bars) a few times, and I feel like that qualifies me to write a definitive guide on what to drink (and what not to drink) tonight for New Years Eve.
Let me preface this by also stating the obvious: If you’re going to meet up with friends, please do so responsibly in more ways than one. Nobody wants to find out you caused a super spreader event just because you couldn’t keep it together at the neighbor’s house and keep a respectful distance.
Oh, also, don’t drink and drive. Be an adult and get a ride from a complete stranger through any number of ride sharing apps.
Anyway, here’s the list.
Must Start: Light Beers – Your go-to. Your every-down back. They’ve been keeping you level all year, and it’s no time to stop now. Bring more than you need so that you can go at your own pace and have enough to share the wealth around. Getting too buzzed too early? Mix in a water and a Miller Lite or two. Then you can get back to whatever wacky experimental cocktails your friends felt like making.
Seltzers – Along those same lines, bring a couple seltzers to change up the pace here and there. My guess is that not everyone in your household loves beers, but if they do – feel free to skip this.
“Classy” Whiskey/Vodka Cocktails – This doesn’t mean ‘delete 12 heavy-handed vodka sodas’, this is a nice little change-of-pace back that can help you get your buzz off and running without filling up too much on beer. I’m a huge fan of an Old Fashioned, but if you bring stuff to your friends’ place to make any kind of cocktail, make sure you don’t leave a fucking mess everywhere.
Champagne – While I’d advise mixing in multiple glasses of champagne with caution, it is pretty much a no brainer that you’re gonna be ingesting some on New Years Eve. Don’t go bonkers, unless…
Sleeper: Champagne Cocktails – …Your friends have some crazy shit to mix it with that they found on Pinterest. Mixing juices or fruits or both with Champagne is pretty much a recipe for disaster because of how smoothly they’ll go down, so proceed with caution here.
Must Sit: Tequila – Don’t look at me like that, you know EXACTLY why these are a sit. What’re you trying to black out and wake up in the ER? Grow up. I rarely take tequila shots in my own home, and I don’t see many of us going out to bars tonight, so keep Don Julio and the gang on the bench for the evening. Surely there are less destructive things to fill your shot glasses with.
Jello Shots – What are we, in middle school? Jello shots almost never come out right – you’ve always got someone who basically just freezes straight tequila or vodka with food coloring, and then you have the hyper conservative folks trying to ration booze by putting in a drop of it into each shot. It’s just not worth the gamble. And then, once you’re done creeping everyone out around you by using multiple bodily probes to get the fucking jello out of the plastic cup, you just find yourself sitting there with red, green, and blue shit all over yourself while you try to figure out why your phone screen is cracked. This is a hard sit.
Red Wine – If you’re trying to fall asleep before the ball drops, then absolutely start red wine. However, if you’re trying to go the distance, this is a must sit. Just writing about wine is making me sleepy, but if my plans were to get under a blanket and throw on HBO instead of whatever channel Ryan Seacrest is gonna be on tonight, I’d probably be starting red wine with confidence.
Bust Alert: IPAs – I hate to break this to you, but nobody’s gonna flip a lid when they see you at their door with a six pack of 15% triple-hopped IPAs. You’re gonna be begging people to try one, and you’ll probably have the host telling you “Heyyy, yeah, thanks for bringing those… Wanna just bring the other five home? Yeah the fridge is just pretty full…” at the end of the night. Nobody wants to get buzzed AND full off two drinks, so leave these at home, Chet.
Sidenote/PSA – Don’t bring home-brewed beer to someone’s house and try to pawn it off as some act of generosity, either. That should be considered a war crime.
And there you have it. Your last blog from me for the year, and a doozy at that. Drink responsibly, don’t get behind the wheel if you’re gonna be boozing, and be good to yourselves and others. Happy New Year!
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