Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope
About a month ago I found myself caught in the endless rabbit hole of Top 10 lists on Youtube and stumbled into one of my favorite categories, Top 10 Upcoming Horror Movies of 2017. One movie stood out like a bunch of pins in the skull of a Cenobite, and that movie was The Void. So as I usually do in crazy anticipation for a new and unique horror movie I feverishly scoured the internet for any information, what is it about, what type of horror is it, and when can I expect to see it? Of course with the mystery and obscurity surrounding the movie, not much was found, except a short synopsis stating how a group of people are held up in a hospital from a cult, and the expected release. Coming off of Green Room, I was itching for a more supernatural Assault on Precinct 13, and let me tell you, The Void satisfied that itch…then decided to give me some more itches and probly a rash.
The Void hearkens back to the good ole days of horror, brandishing a fine coat of 80s B movie nostalgia that I can honestly say is my favorite niche. Daniel, a small town cop rescues some stranded junkie from the side of a road and takes him back to a nearby hospital, which is being slowly vacated due to a fire, in the middle of the night, and weirdly enough his wife…ex-wife… no clue, just so happens to work there as well. There is the usual setup array of characters with the cop, some hospital staff, innocent civilians, sketchy stand bys, a criminal, a few weapon wielding psychopaths, a couple dozen hooded cult members, oh and I almost forgot…giant fucking parasitic monsters that emerge from their host after it dies. Since math is what I do, let me make a little equation for you all. Hellraiser + Alien + Dead Space = The Void. Are you not already sold? Fine, prissy boy, button up that Brook’s Brothers Polo and have a seat.
The setting is perfect, a near condemned hospital under lockdown. The cast is fine, they all play their roles even when shit hits the fan and this is elephant shit hitting the front side of a fanboat and you’re standing directly behind it. The monster design is top notch with a perfect amalgamation of Necromorph-like half corpses and the Hellraiser Cenobite baddies. I don’t want to spoil things, but the plot is a little out there, with an idea of accepting The Void so after you die you live forever…remember all those Nopes at the top of this article? This is where they come into play. As much as I spurt on about faceplanting into a freshly dug grave, the last thing I want is to be around forever. That completely eliminates me leaping out of my window after failing yet another physics exam. Do I want a meteorite fragment to plummet from the sky into my forehead? Yes! Do I want to a parasite driven into my body by an 8 foot tall tentacle monster (Chris P) wearing one of my friends’ skin? Nope. Do I want that parasite to drive me to cut my own face off? Nope. Do I want that parasite to grow into another 8 foot tentacle monster (Chris P), in my chest cavity? Nope. Do I then want it to rip my entire torso apart and emerge from my back? Nope. Do I want to overcome death itself, embrace The Void and “live” forever? (Insert rest of Nopes here).
The Void is one of those extremely rare, out of left field, horror gems that come around once a generation. Very few horror movies as of late have left me truly unsettled, and The Void really makes you feel all sorts of weird, but in a good way of course. Like previously stated, it’s a great combination of classic body horror and gore movies with a little Dead Space thrown in. The Void leaves you with a lot of questions, but this is one of those movies where the questions are better left unanswered. The distance from my desk, where I watched The Void, to my case of Miller Lites is about 35 feet with 5 lightswitches in between…I turned on every fucking light switch on my way to reup on golden delicious beer, and I thank my sister Jenna (happy birthday BTW) for sending me a Zombie Themed Man Crate, because it came with a machete and I might just keep it tucked away under my pillow from now on in utter fear of The Void and whatever it may try to send my way.
4.5 Giant Tentacle Monsters (Chris P) / 5