It is just a few more months until Lame Duck Barry Oh, is out of office and our incumbent, next president, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, President of the United States of America is sitting high upon his white stallion in the oval office. So I figured it was just about time to drop the most American League of Legends Team comp that has ever graced your game. This comp is built around terrain creation, a 30 foot tall wall to keep….nevermind, and how to fully utilize each new piece of terrain.
I present to you with a 100% win rate, The Donald “Build The Wall” Trump Comp.
*Disclaimer* This is not a political piece, it is a joke and if you get offended by it, please reassess where you are in life and learn to have a sense of humor. Put the pitchforks away and try to have a good time.
Working our way down from the Top Lane we have Trundle, the Troll King. Your team obviously needs a tank, and one that can build this nation up on the pillars of democracy… Trundle’s pillars of Democracy. Is a pansy liberal trying to take your guns away? Drop a pillar on their face and let a few rounds off into the rift. Vegans demanding you to eat kale? Pop a pillar on that bitch, get them out of your face and slam a double bacon cheeseburger. On top of all of that, you have to use the Lil Slugger Trundle skin because what’s more American than Baseball? Nothing
In the Jungle we have the Jarvan, the Enforcer. Here we are playing Big Beefy Bruiser J4. Just imagine your cousin Cleatus slamming 8 hotdogs and a 24 pack of Miller Lites during your family’s 4th of July celebration. Now picture 6 foot 3 Cleatus, former D1 linebacker Cleatus, benches almost as much as Rob Cleatus, in a full suit of armor with an 8 foot tall lance and the ability to crush the earth so hard it creates a rock arena with him and all of his enemies in it. He’s not trapped in there with you all…You’re all trapped in their with Cleatus, I mean Jarvan. With Jarvan’s Ultimate, you can build your wall to either keep your enemies in, or out.
In the midlane we have Taliyah the stonemason herself. When the liberals just won’t stop harassing you about tax reform and the education system, sometimes you just gotta fight fire with fire, or rock with rock. For every complaint a liberal throws at you, throw 5 rocks at them, and Taliyah is the most ideal rock thrower in all of League of Legends. Got a group of hippies infiltrating your town, walking around smoking their marijuana cigarettes in their Inuit inspired drug rugs, Press R and build a fucking wall across half of Summoners Rift. If you somehow manage to only get a few of the hippies on the opposite side of the wall, create a rock catapult from the ground and launch them over the wall, whilst continually throwing rocks at them the entire time.
In the support role we have Anivia, the Bald Eagle of Freedom. The ideal figure to represent the Northeast, Anivia is an enormous bird that controls ice and snow. Got a few pesky Canadians seeking refuge in Buffalo? Show them what a real lake effect is like with your ultimate. Scandinavians sneaking into port in Boston Harbor? How about a Nor’Easter and some Frostbite. Need to keep those bloody Swiss chocolatiers from running Granny Norene’s Chocolate Shop out of business, and wanna channel your inner Brother of the Night’s Watch? Build an enormous wall of ice in between you and them.
The only way to do any of this is if you painted all of your feathers Red, White, and Blue in the name of Freedom with the Team Spirit Anivia skin.
What brings this whole team comp together if your ADC underdog, Vayne. The entire election (laning phase), you just take a beating from your opponent. Each presidential debate is an early trade or all in from the enemy team and you just can’t seem to come out on top. Well guess what motherfuckers, it’s 45 minutes into the game, the polls are open and Vayne is tumbling in and out of your fucking timelines condemning opponents into the walls that the rest of your running party have helped to create and 2 shotting the enemy midlane Communist Baron Von Veigar.
There it is my fellow Red Blooded Americans, this is THE greatest Team Comp you will ever come across in League of Legends. Get your ass out of elo hell and Make Summoner’s Rift Great Again.
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