Following some cryptic hints on social media from our pal Tony Hawk, the GOAT, I wanted to do two things. 1. I want to don my Doc Bob PI inspector garb and do a deep dive into all of the subtle hints Tony has been dropping and defend why I firmly believe we will be getting information on some form of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater revival (coming soon). 2. I want to examine under the microscope where my very own Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 custom character is today. Lets take a step back into the nostalgia machine and go back to day 1. Where are they now?
It’s Christmas day in 2001 and I just opened my copy of THPS3 for GameCube. I landed my first ollie on my board I got for Christmas and was ready to virtually grind every rail I could find and maybe pick up cigarettes like the bad influences I grew up with. 7 year old, 5 foot 9, 185lb Bob is spending hours trying to come up with the perfect skater design. Where to start? Giant liberty spikes on my head, a ripped green NeverSoft shirt and some tight black jeans with a chain on the side. PERFECT. I spent the next several months collecting every SKATE letter, finishing every single COMBO lineup, and unlocking every secret skater, but what happened to gnarly as fuck skater Rob?
Exploring the alternate universe in which I didn’t stay in school for 20 years to become a medical professional, blogger, and podcast host, I can only assume one career path. I must have just hung up the pro skater towel, leaving the Los Angeles level to make my way to SoCal. How the fuck could I ever outskate people like Wolverine and Darth Maul? Best case scenario is I befriended Kelly Slater after unlocking him and picked up an easy going lifestyle learning to surf and working bar back at a hotel bar. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.
I probably made an appearance or two at the short lived Boom Boom Huck Jams, rubbing CBD oil over my aching joints and making a couple hundred bucks signing autographs to millennials that barely remembered me after fading into skating obscurity. I begged Bam Margera to let me make an appearance on his multiple MTV shows but he left me on read. I might get a text from Bucky Lasek or Chad Muska whenever they’re in town for lunch, but I spend my weekend at the bar missing the days where it took a half bottle of Short Sexy Hair gel to get my hair spikes just right hoping to be an unlockable character in the next Tony Hawk Game to come out. Except Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 that game was hot trash. Stay tuned for my deep dive into why I have been saying for months that we will get news of a Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater revival.