Today’s Nintendo Direct Was Fucking Amazing

February 9, 2022February 9, 2022 Papa Dom

Let’s keep it a stack with each other for a minute, shall we? It’s not often that Nintendo comes out of the blue with a full-fledged Nintendo Direct and blows us away.

When Nintendo announced this weekend that they’d be dropping a new Nintendo Direct presentation this afternoon, I was cautiously optimistic. I noticed that they included “information about games that are coming out in the first half of 2022” in the Direct’s description, and to be completely honest I couldn’t really think of a whole lot of games on the near horizon that I was looking forward to. Were there surprises that I wasn’t aware of? Were some titles (ahem, Zelda) coming out sooner than expected? Or was this just going to be a massive wet fart comprised of ports I couldn’t care less about?

Well, dear readers – I am happy to announce that all of my expectations were totally blown away, because today’s Nintendo Direct fucking ruled.

Let’s dig right in to the good stuff, shall we?

Nintendo Switch Sports: Wii Sports is back, and we’re going to be able to play six sports (Soccer, Volleyball, Bowling, Tennis, Badminton and Swordplay) both in our living rooms and online with friends. Tighten those wrist-straps and let’s get ready to roll baby. I can’t wait to be winded after one round of bowling.
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe – Booster Course Pass: Alright, so this is DLC – but holy smokes. FORTY EIGHT (48) remastered courses from all across the Mario Kart series are being added to Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. The DLC is $25, which definitely is not cheap… But that’s a lot of content.
Mario Strikers: Battle League: Strikers and Super Mario Sluggers are probably neck and neck for the most underrated Mario Sports titles for me. Strikers on the Gamecube was awesome, and I’m so glad we’re getting this back. The subtitle is kinda dumb though.
Kirby and the Forgotten Land: Is this gonna be baby’s first open world game? If so, I’m bout to work on making a baby or borrowing Johnny Rootbeer’s. Because this looks fun as fuck.
Advance Wars 1+2: Re-Boot Camp: Yes I know this is a remaster but goddamn it looks great.

Other stuff some folks will likely geek out about:

EarthBound / EarthBound Beginnings: Can we just have Mother 3 please?
Xenoblade Chronicles 3
MLB The Show 22: Will this game look good…?
Splatoon 3
Disney Speedstorm
Metroid Dread Update: Nintendo heard you game journalists whining. They added an “easy” mode. But they also added an extra hard mode.
Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes
TRIANGLE STRATEGY: I know people are hyped about this but I can’t get past the name. Lemme know how it is.

It wouldn’t be a Nintendo Direct without a shitload of ports being announced, so have some of those too!

No Man’s Sky
CHRONO CROSS: THE RADICAL DREAMERS EDITION
Portal: Companion Collection
STAR WARS: The Force Unleashed
Assassin’s Creed The Ezio Collection
Cuphead – The Delicious Last Course
Taiko no Tatsujin: Rhythm Festival
KLONOA Phantasy Reverie Series
GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon
SD GUNDAM BATTLE ALLIANCE
KINGDOM HEARTS INTEGRUM MASTERPIECE for Cloud

All in all, that’s like… What… Twenty four new games for the Nintendo Switch? Yes, we’re counting ports and remasters here – because they’re still new to the Switch. Twenty three if you don’t count the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe DLC, but you probably should since it’s almost doubling the amount of courses in the game.

Nintendo has just delivered us back-to-back-to-back entertainment for the next couple of months, and anybody who owns a Switch should be incredibly excited. The company that used to be the first-party only crew is now the company with an absolute must-own handheld/hybrid console with ports that you can take anywhere. What a world we live in, huh?