Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone whom may not be celebrating. What we can all celebrate are videogames, and incredible videogame ideas, and not for nothing, I am full of those… and quahogs, I’m full of those too right now. I was 11 beers deep lying in bed last night contemplating, “are there any Christmas videogames with Santa in them?”. Outside of browser and shovelware games, there really aren’t any Christmas games. Gather around publishers, because I have a gold mine waiting for you all.
A Santa Simulation game. Yeah you heard me right. There are sim games out for literally everything why not give Big Red one? We have dating sims, city building sims, world commanding sims, roller coaster sims, zoo and dinosaur sims, and the most notable, sports sims. I literally poured hundreds of hours into the old Wild Thornberry’s Rescue sim browser game. Now imagine yourself in the shoes of Santa’s top elf. You are tasked with maintaining the North Pole year round with everything from reindeer stables to toy production and even managing Santa’s day to day routines. You choose what kind of bedding the reindeer get, what they eat, manage stats, and come up with the best reindeer lineup. Maybe Comet has been hitting the mash patch and is slowing down, you bench him and bring up a ringer in his place.
You get to manage small teams of elves who all specialize in different things. Maybe Fred just got his Computer Science degree online from DeVry. I’m sure you put him at the lead of the tech group while Greg picks up the woodworking team after finishing his apprenticeship with his Carpenter’s Local 327. Santa is a whole different segment of managing. He’s the face of the whole operation, he doesn’t need to be worrying about the everyday goings on of the workshops or stables, that’s why you’re there. What you need to do is maintain Santa’s jolly nature and keep him from blowing up to the size of a narwhal before the big trip. Put Nick on a treadmill every couple of days, set up a nice high fiber, low fatty diet for the guy and have Christmas be his splurge day. Put him out on scouting missions every once in a while to throw the media’s Norad tracker off and keep the world on their toes. For any publishing companies that want in, I will be taking giant cardboad checks delivered to my door by Louie Anderson ONLY.